The Heatwave is over......for now!

I thought I was going to die a week and a half ago, the damn temp reached 114, can u believe that crap? 114, I can bake a damn cake with that temp. After crying and being a mega bitch I'm finally getting my AC! yah! Naty's getting it ready as I type, the heat has calmed its ass for now but I know the SOB will be back. So when its back I'll be prepared with my AC on blast.

Let's see, hmmmmmm oh 4th of July weekend we went to San Fran to visit Jose and Monica and we had fun. We saw their new house (which is awesome) and stood in their little apartment they had downstairs from them, it was really cute and cozy. We left on a Sat. go there that evening, went to Target and rested. Then on Sunday we went to Six Flags, Marine World and told the kids it was disneyland, LMAO! They loved it and esp. loved all the animals, that place is cool! We got on a few big rides and watched a firework show afterwards, then on Monday, we went to the bridge and walked it a little then to Fisherman's Wharf to see the fatass sea lions and eat at Bubba Gump Shrimp, then on Tues (4th of July) we headed back home to our dead ass grass and plants. I nearly had a heart attack, Naty's dad didn't water like he said he would, instead he cut the dead grass, go figure....I did nearly die at the sight of my beautiful grass---DEAD!

Then, much of you all know that I've been having a lot of health complications, one after another, well I just had an ultrasound and the doctor called me back and told me that my cysts and the mass I had on my uterus are getting bigger with blood flow (which isn't good at all!) and he said I could possibly have cancer, actually a big chance. I kind of took it easy but I guess that now that I have more time to think and more time for my mind to play this God awful games on me I'm starting to think and think and cry and cry about it. I still don't know for sure if I have the "C" word but I'm praying that I don't cause I'm too young to go thru this shit, I have my kids to care for and I can't even think about leaving them alone. So before I go thru any surgeries I've gotta go make a will and an advance directive. Thats sad that I'm worth more dead than alive....I better not tell Naty that! anyway, I've gotta get all this crap ready and I know it'll be hard but its gotta be done.

And as for school, I'm in summer school now and hoping to finish next thurs. so once I'm done I'm hoping to switch to Chaffey so that I could but Bubbs in school close by and Naty could watch them while I go to night school, it'll be a sacrifice but it'll be worth it! Anyway, I better get to bed..........Goodnight

Not a baby anymore :(

My lil Bubbs isn't a baby anymore. I soooooo wanted to cry today when he got his certificate, cry because I'm proud and mostly because he's not a baby anymore. I've always said a child is still a baby till they complete kindergarten and my lil man completed kindergarten today! wahhhhhhhhh :( I want him to stay small forever. Why do they have to grow up so fast? Why can't it be half the time? I just can't handle anything else right now! I'm so sentimental when it comes to my babies growing up. It's just so hard to believe.

And not only is my baby growing up but my lil sister Steph is too. WHY? Why can't she stay small forever? Why does she have to mature into a woman? Why can't she stay innocent a while longer.......wahhhhhh this is killing me! She had her jr. high promotion today and is going to High school next year....sigh...and so is Elaine.....I don't picture them in high school they're babies still......what is this world coming to?

Ok, since we're going down the line....theres also Melissa.....Melissa Melissa my lil cuz that when I first met told me, "Fuck you Bitch" Yup just plain and simple. She was about 4 when her and my aunt Laura came into our lives. I will never forget that. She was my best buddy growing up since I didn't have any siblings at the time. So I'd drag her around with me everywhere, to the park and to my friends house across the street. Of cousre she'd act up and I'd have to pimp slap her here and there but overall she was my chubby lil cuz. It just feels like yesterday when we'd jump the fence to go play at the playground in the back of our house. This lil girl had nooooooooo fear! She'd jump fences, cuss people out and pimp slap you for a cookie! And she's now all grown up......another loooooooooooong sigh................... and graduating high school.

Then we must not forget Jesse, he was a 5th grade snot nose kid when I met him. Little chubby guy that loved to follow his big brother to my house. He always wanted to go with us cause he knew we'd most likey be going out to eat! LOL! He still feels like a lil boy to me and not a man yet! He's too young to be thrown out into the big real world! NOT JESSE! Hold on!! He can't be finishing high school already....wait......he did.......and that was today... :(

It's really exciting to see these 5 grow but yet depressing cause they'll all be adults soon with their own families and lives. Sheesh....I just feel like crying right now. I can't believe this is happening, its just too quick.

What's that saying?? Time goes by fast when you're having fun! So I'm obviously having too much fun and loving life. period.

So just wanted to tell you 5 that I'm very proud of your accomplishments and I love you guys so much! I'd do anything for you guys and I pray that you all continue through this path that your going down and seek God in your times of need and always know that you can come to me and Naty for anything. Life is going to suck sometimes but you've gotta keep strong and stay in control. You 5 are very special to me and are gifted people that will succeed in life and make a difference to this crazy world. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, the ones who do aren't your friends and don't have a place in your lives. Keep doing your best always and you'll have a fulfilled life. Love you all!!!!!
Marlene

Why Me?

Of course we always say that when something bad happens but this time I really mean it! Why do I have to suffer so much? Did I do something wrong? Do I owe somebody something? Was I a murderer in my past life? Seriously! What the hell did I do to deserve this pain and this awful health scare? On June 1st I was admitted into the hospital because of severe pain in my abdomen and a temp of 104, not only did I start my rag and have strep throat, no that wasn't enough! I also had a f-en migraine and an infection on my uterus, oh wait! can't forget the cysts on my ovaries too! Well after seeing another doctor yesterday, he told me that I could possibly have a tumor and worse case scenario it can be cancerous. He says I'm too young to have cancer but its a possibility-it seems nowadays cancer doesn't have an age preference, everyone is getting it! He also told me he had finished diagnosing 2 other young girls with uterine and cervical cancer. Since finding this out yesterday (well its almost 1am so 2 days ago now!) I've been going back and forth on my emotions, I'm more positive than negative but I can't stop playing out scenes of my babies in my head. The doc hasn't given me a final dx cause he's gotta do lots of tests but according to him feeling my uterus (I know-sick!) my uterus is shifted to the right and has a big hard mass on it. If its a tumor I can live with that but cancer (malignant)....not sure how I will react. Most likely he said if it is cancer I'll have a hysterectomy and that will completely cure it (God willing). I'm trusting this new doctor since he's reviewed my chart and spent a lot of time on it, he just wants me to give him time and patience and he promises to get to the end of this! I know he will, I trust him and God of course. I know I'm blessed to have my 2 babies already so a hysterectomy won't be a problem especially if it will save my life!
Also, Bubbs is graduating from Kindergarten tomarrow! It's a big day for him, his teacher is having a luau theme for them and she'll be giving out their "diplomas" My lil man will finally be home with me! Since moving he's spent a lot of nights over at his grandma's, I miss my chubby bubbie so much. But after tomarrow I'll want to get rid of him again! (PULLING MY HAIR OUT) When these two get together, sheesh, its war time. This past Saturday me and the kids spent the whole day outside. Once the sun got hot, we got the hose and had war out there. Audrey was being a lil cry baby in the beginning but soon after she was wrestling us for the hose, we didn't get back in till Naty got home from work (he worked overtime) We had so much fun and I look forward to more days like that once my baby comes home.
As for father's day we went to my grandma's for a BBQ. We went swimming and played a lil volleyball in the pool. We felt good swimming, actually think I lost some weight after that day!
It's almost 1am and I still can't fall asleep, I guess I have way too much on my mind. I have to wake up early and I know its going to be a long day. Bubbs, Steph and Jesse are graduating tomarrow. I know Elaine is too but I'm not going to that one, oh and Monica and Jose are down visiting so I know we'll probably end up going to dinner with them. Anyway, better TRY to get to bed.
marlene

2 months have gone.....

and Summer is almost here :( I hate the heat so much! I get migraines and really bitchy during the summer.....blah! Lately I've been on summer vacation from school and taking a break from the drama and college life but dumb me couldn't be without school without feeling like a loser so I had to take at least one class. Especially since I sucked this Fall semester, I've gotta re-take 2 of my classes and it pisses me off! Oh well, I guess I had it coming when I stopped showing up to class all the time and I was in and out of the hospital.

I've been going to Weight watchers for about 8 weeks now and trying to lose this awful nasty weight for the last time! I've been doing good and losing this weight but it takes sooooo long, I just want to lose it and forget that I was ever fat (for 5 years, almost 6) I just hate seeing my big ass in the mirror our esp. in pictures, I've forbidden picture taking of myself. Do not ever try to take a pic of me! I'll slap that damn camera out of your hands!

As for the kids! Audrey is talking more and more and being such a good girl! She's my opposite and is so fun to chill with, we read, watch tv, play in her room and go walking together, she's so fun and attached to her mama. And as for Bubbs he's almost done with kindergarten! he can't wait, he's literally counting down the days he has left in school. He also just finished T-Ball season and starts basketball pretty soon. Last month we went to Disneyland and Audrey keeps begging and begging to go again, they loved it there! We're planning a trip to the San Diego zoo this month and looking forward to our Vegas Vacation! (can't wait) since we've came home from it last year we keep talking about it and look forward to it!

Naty just finished his 4th year of school (1 more to go) so when he finishes his 5th year we're planning on going on a cruise and leaving our troubles behind! LOL! leaving everything behind and just relaxing, we've gotta plan that already. Right now Naty just got transferred to the Sony Pictures Studio and he's hoping to see some movie stars and get star strucked, hahahaha.....thank God that mostly everything is going really well for us.

My health is still keeping me back but I know it'll get better, I just went back to the e.r again a week ago for a 104 fever and bad stomach pain, well after crying about this pain for a year and some they found infection on my uterus and said it can be caused by my own healthy body or many other things, after checking me out and doing all the tests, they don't know how it happened. As long as it goes away I'm happy with that! I know I'll get better! I have too!

Let's see, what else?!?!?! oh yeah, my mom is moving to my neck of the woods at the end of this month and I'm hoping she can help me out on some days with the kids so that I don't get too stressed out and can have less going on in my crazy life! I know she will, always has my back! (with 2 hands) hahahaha!! Ok, well I guess thats it. I better get my nalgas to bed. GN
marlene

Spring Break

I'm now on spring break })i({ and loving it. I'm not doing as good as I wanted to this semester. I've been having a lot of roadblocks and pure laziness in my way. I can't seem to stick to anything. I'm getting fustrated and I did take on too much this semester. I know I'll be re-taking 2 of my classes so that sucks! and two that matter for my transfering, its just too much for me right now!

Since last writing we've been relaxing and doing things around the house still. we went to the snow early in march with Laura, Ruben and the kids and kicked it for a day. oh and we must not forget my birthday, boy is that going down in the books! Good Lord!! Me, Naty, My mom, Carlos, Elsie and Michael went to city walk and we ended up at some club. well after way too much drinking and dancing and living it up I decided to talk to some big girl that was sitting next to me, well I seen her talking to some guy so I thought I'd be nosy and ask her what happened. Well she was tore up and telling me and Elsie about that guy she was trying to rap to, well my mom started saying that she was a lesbo and getting Naty all worked up so he got mad and pulled my chair away really fast and that girl hit the floor so hard the floor shook. She was holding onto my chair so tight that when naty pulled me she fell on the floor sick! and what does Naty do right after, he takes me to the dance floor to go dance. MY GOD!!!!! it was hilarious, so thats what really happened for all you assholes calling me a lesbo!! F off!!!! I was just being friendly and drunk and thats what really happened!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

This weekend we went to the Barona casino and Naty won $400 and I won $100 so we were happy. We went in the hopes to live it up again (elsie, michael, pat and carol) and to our great surprise they don't have alcohol there! Oh well, but we did have fun and won some cash!! hahahahaha!!! We took the kids to see Ice Age this weekend and they loved it.

Oh and I'm happy to report that my room is almost done!! yipee!!! it's the love shack! damn I might end up getting pregnant in that room again! LMAO!! it's soooo romantic its scary!! even though I'm on vacation I have a lot to do! I have a long list on my things to do list.

Oh and I forgot to tell everyone that I'm graduating with my associates this semester , (do I smell a party coming on!) so I'm excited about that but at the same time I'm still bummed about my class. booooooooooo! anyway, peace out
marlene

Been Gone

But now I'm back. This Spring semester I'm taking 16 units! Way over what I should be taking and I'm non-stop studying and doing homework. I've never been at school this much ever! I'm glad though that this will be my last full load in a while. After this Fall I'll be off chilling at home with the kids and relaxing and waiting to get called for the PA program. Hopefully that is not a long wait.

Let's see........Since the last time I wrote we went to Laughlin with the whole familia on a turn around bus. During that time me and Naty were helping his parents fix up their rental in East L.A. We did a lot and it came out soooo nice! Anyway, Naty wasn't going to go with me to Laughlin but then changed his mind cause he wanted to get out and do something. So on the way there all we did was laugh and talk crap to each other like always. Honestly I thought Laughlin would be funner than it was. It's nothing like Vegas, theres no shows no entertainment.....nothing. We gambled a little bit and went shopping at the mall then watched a movie. I had more fun on the bus! I drank a little but not enough ;) I bought this margarita that was bigger than my head it was soooooooooooo good!! yummmmmmmmm

I've also taken on another responsiblity of being a volunteer at USC Hospital, mostly cause I want to help and also because I need to do 100 hours of volunteering for my major and honestly I can't wait! I love the atmosphere of a hospital (not being the patient) but working in one.

Bubbs is playing T-Ball again this year so I've been taking him to practice and using that time to play with Audrey at the playground. I feel bad that I don't do a lot with my kids but I know it's for our own good. All of what I'm doing is mostly to set an example for my kids and be able to pay for their schooling. I do see them a lot but when it comes to studying or homework I have to give them coloring books and crayons to keep them busy right next to me and they say their doing homework too. I take breaks and play with them for a little bit then I go back to work. And Naty is also in school (started last week) and he's hardly home again. I was already getting used to him being home all the time and it sucks now that he's back in school.

And as for Audrey she's just growing and being more and more of a brat! she's too funny! She talks a lot and does funny stuff all the time. She loves books and coloring. I just have to watch her that she doesn't draw on my beige carpet or walls!

I really need to take more pics of my babies, they're so big already. Anyway, wish me luck cause I'm going to need it this semester.
marlene

Back to School

Well I'm off to school again tomarrow and I'm sad, mostly because I won't be able to spend my mornings and afternoons with Audrey. This time I'll be at school all day cause of my two science classes. I already miss my babies, this sucks. I need to stay on top of these classes cause they are going to get me in the school I want to get into.

We went to Pat and Carol's today for the superbowl and ate there. Michelle's wedding is in October and we had to pick out the dresses for the bridesmaids. I better get to bed now since tomarrow is school and its back to waking up at 5am! uuuuhhhhhh!! thats what I'm gonna hate!
marlene

MySpace

I found so many of my old friends on there and it feels like I'm back in high school. I can't believe how time flies by and how everyone is grown up now. Not many of them have kids and have graduated from college...That makes me want it more. I can't give up! I want to finish what I started for sure!

I'm home alone again, Naty's doing a side job today and I can't wait till he gets home. I'm not cooking today cause I just don't feel like it or don't feel good either. These kids are so crazy and the house is so tore up! Toys everywhere!!! I almost stepped on one and killed myself.

Countdown is about to start after this week. I go back to school on Feb. 6th, I guess it's good since I'll be back on track and closer to my goals.

anyway, I better do something with this tornado. Bye
marlene

www.myspace.com/sotoscene

Break Time

I was taking a class for winter session and decided to take some time off since I haven't in 2 years! So I ended up dropping the class in hopes to relax........WRONG! Now I'm feeling like a total loser being home and I feel like I'm doing something bad. I go back for spring session in Feb. and hopefully I'll be back on track. I just feel when I stay home that I'm not accomplishing nothing and start thinking all kinds of crazy thoughts. I'm hoping to do good this semester cause I got two C's for Fall and I need to fight one of them cause I deserved an A in one class, at least a B! But not a C!!!!!! I was so pist so now I've gotta go fight with my teacher and if she doesn't change it I'm gonna take it up with the dean and petition it. Thats a crazy ass grade!! For A's on all my papers and to come out with a C??? Makes noooooooooo sense!

In Feb. everyone supposed to go to Laughlin, I've never been there and I'm scared to lose my ass. I'm only gonna gamble about 100, I swear! I'm such a tight ass! I know I did a lot more in vegas but I don't want to chance it again. I honestly don't even know why I'm going!! I think I'm gonna look it up and see what other things I can do there instead of only gambling. I'm clueless when it comes to that place.

Oh and Audrey is finally off the baba!! I'm so happy, I thought this day would never come cause she was so addicted to it. I mean especially to go to sleep. Did I suffer in her first days! Oh and she's a cry baby now. she never really cared and just chilled but she's been acting like a spoiled brat lately and doing lots of crazy things! Her terrible two's have come in full force! So I guess now that I'm taking a vacation I can catch up on other things around the house. Anyway, gotta go cut the grass.
marlene

Happy New Year

New years was very quiet and calm for us this year. We rented movies and drank by ourselves. We stood up watching the Dick Clark special (wobbling corpse!) and when the new year rang in we just gave our hugs to each other and the kids and called it a night. Every new year I have this fear of the world ending. I guess since I was small I was tramatized into thinking that every new year God might come and end it all for us. I really thought that for 2000 and was so scared the whole day.

This tuesday I started Winter Session at school (chemistry) and so far its kind of hard but I have a year to go of it! :( But today I really messed up and didn't go to class. I woke up late and got to school at around 8:15 (class starts @8) and there was noooooooo more parking! I was panicking cause I had a test today and I was so mad at myself I wanted to cry. Winter session is a short 5 weeks but I have to go from 8-2:20pm M-Th. It sucked that I missed today, I felt like a loser all day and I kept kicking myself for it. I'm still not totally over it cause I know I messed up and especially that if I miss another day I can get kicked out. So from now on its making sure that I wake up on time and that I get my big ass to school everyday. I have 4 more weeks to go! I can do this! I'm just not use to waking up early again. I was sleeping in for the week that I was off of school and now its hard for me to wake up! And on the weekends I sleep in then come Monday and its sooooo hard for me to get up and function right. The inlaws aren't back from Mexico yet so no breakfast for me. Usually my MIL makes me breakfast and I'm always set in the morning. Now that she's not here I need her here to help me with the kids! My mom was watching the kids this week. I can't wait till I get that extra help back.

Also I might go to USC's P.A. program instead of the other college I was going to go to. USC is way more expensive but I'll have the label of being a USC student that will help me in the long run and help my salary as well. I'm still not sure if I should go for it. It's so hard to make a decision and its mostly because of the money issue. I know they'll help me BUT to a limit. There's no such thing as a free ride. Well actually I'm having one now living with Naty and him supporting me but hopefully not for long cause I hate having to depend on someone! I can't wait to have my own money and buy what I want, when I want!

Anyway, gotta go get these kids in bed. Peace out

Merry Christmas

Wow where do I start? It was one crazy christmas cause my babies have been sick. Friday we finally finally got the painting done and the boxes cleared!! yeah! WE still need some painting in the dining room but thats nothing!! The hardest part is done.

Friday, we cleared some boxes and threw out a bunch of stuff mostly because I don't know where to put the stuff. Naty moved the t.v. so that we can see it better without the Christmas tree in the way. I also baked some cookies for xmas eve and got a lot of things ready.

On Christmas Eve morning, I had to clean the rest of the house and make breakfast. We ate really fast cause the time was just zooming by and everyone would be here soon. I made carnitas (tacos), ham, tamales (bought those), beans and lots of goodies. I got pretty tipsy but not drunk like I wanted! Audrey got a fever and started feeling sick so I had to calm it a little. My little babies cheeks were so red.

On Christmas Day we left the mess from the day before and went to my granny's for dinner and the Christmas exchange. I got spongebob slippers, sleep pants and a nightshirt! I loved it!! I tried drinking again but only got a little buzzed! I think I'm getting used to the alcohol now. I wanted to feel good and tipsy but it wasn't working. We chilled with the family and came home. I had fun but Audrey was was so sick so it was time to go.

My house still isn't perfect cause of me being sick. I kind of lost my voice and my throat hurts from coughing so much. I hate being sick. I thought I had 2 weeks off of school but it was only one!! I go back next Tues. which sucks!!!!!!!!! I'm thinking of taking the winter off just because I need a break. I know I can finish faster but I'm sooooooo tired of school right now. I'm in school burn-out mode, so far I've got one of my grades back for Philosophy (B!!) that class was soooooooooo awful!! I hated it and I still don't understand WTF Philosophy is!! It's so confusing and too advanced for me, BUT, I MADE IT! Now to wait for my Spanish and Speech grade.

Today all I've been doing is loafing around and watching surreal life on VH1, I never seen this show and they were showing like a marathon of it. It's so hilarious! I feel in love with Peter Brady! LMAO! He's so sexy and old too. VH1 has some good reality shows! I think I'm hooked!

Well tomarrow its all about picking up my gut and getting to work. I hope I get better and am able to do some more tomarrow. OH well gotta go to bed its so late. Goodnight

Happy Birthday Audrey

Yesterday was my angel's birthday. We took the kids to a new pizza place called John's, its soooooo cool! When any of you come down we need to hit that place up again. It's a italian buffet with different rooms and different themes and you can pick any dining room that you want to go eat in and it has a big acarde and glow in the dark golf. We had a lot of fun. I can't believe my baby is 2 already, its soooooo sad. I miss her being a little peanut and her chubby little self. She's so big now. Where did the time go?

This time last year I was suffering in a hospital room, crying my eyes out to get out. I was in so much pain and wanted out! I remember getting released the night of the 22nd, I didn't want to stay and begged for them to let me go. I had a fever and felt so dizzy but had to come home cause my Bubbs was waiting for us with his grandparents. I remember having a hard night with my little pumpkin cause I was in pain and it was hard to get out of bed and of course Naty slept while I was hard at work (like always). So now here we are, 2 years later.
(She got into Naty's hair gel!)

Finals

Today was my first final and I think I did ok, it was like a 5 minute test that was really easy but of course I didn't even study. My Bubbs and Naty are really sick right now so I'm playing doctor. I feel like I'm coming down with something too but my head is hurting more than before. I have really bad headaches that don't go away even after medicine sometimes. I love the cold weather but hate when we get sick, it sucks.

I just wanted to show this funny picture of Audrey vacuming. I can't believe she'll be 2 tomarrow!

My Brat

I just had to post this picture of Audrey, I was here online thinking that she's asleep and find out that she took down all the books and they're all over the desk and the floor! She's such a little brat but I love her! She smells like pickles right now. pewwwww

Today was the last day of offical school and next week are finals. I'm thinking of not going during Winter and using that time to relax. I swear I'm gonna have a break down sooner or later. It's so much stress and work and with the kids and Naty I feel like I'm pushing them aside while I "better" myself. I don't feel guilty cause its all for them but I feel like I can do better and more if I wasn't so caught up in school. I need some time after two years of going no stop, full time, it has taken a toll on me. I have migranes up the ass and many other problems that I don't want to bore you with. But going back and forth to Kaiser has been my life story for the past 2 years.

Tomarrow I have nooooooooo school so its all about me sleeping all morning and getting things ready for christmas, last minute shopping and cleaning. Good thing I got most of the laundry out of the way. I'm washing it tonight and hanging it out so that i can be out all morning and It'll dry faster. We still have the dryer in the garage. Naty's here now so I gotta go. Bye

Did I ever say school sucked?

Well it does! I can't escape it! UUHHHHH! Next week is finals and I'm dreading them and hating school so much at the moment. My spanish class is just getting harder and harder, I just got speech class out of the way and did my final speech yesterday and got a87%, the philosophy is getting harder too with even more homework, I'm going crazy!!! I can't focus on school work either. I've been trying and trying and I can't study, I have too many things running around in my peanut. I even broke out in a rash.

We went to dinner Sunday evening for my mother in laws birthday and on the way home I started getting real hot and felt like pins were poking at my hands. Naty was driving and I told him that I felt hot and my hands and arms are burning and hurting. He's like, "oh yeah", whatever (same shit), then I started feeling dizzy and worse. Well I sucked it up and when we got home I couldn't take it and my hands started burning really bad and Naty turned the light on and my hand was red and had little bumps on it. It started itching like crazy too, so I put some Rx cream that was naty's on my hand and it started oozing, (sick I know) so now I have a hard piece of skin there with bumps---gross. Of course brought on by stress, good thing I didn't put it on my arms cause it would have done the same to my arms. GROSS.....

Well its Tuesday again, my lonely day... Naty doesn't get home till 9 :( I can't believe that I miss him this much! I see his mug everyday! LOL!

I found this new love for Martha Stewart. www.marthastewart.com I can't believe she's this interesting. I'm hoping to have a Martha Stewart Christmas! I'm gonna following some of her recipes for christmas and try to be fabulous! (really, u think I'm kidding-1st I need to learn how to spell the word) I guess this xmas everyones going over my grandma's so everyones invited to my house for xmas eve. We're getting wasted!! Thats all I've gotta say. I'm gonna bust the vodka, tequila and rum out. So come one come all....

Naty asked me yesterday if I want to go to vegas again and I said yes without thinking. Now I'm scared of going because of the drive and how dangerous it is. Ever since that truck tire came at us on the road in March I'm scared of driving far. That would be 3 times this year that we go to Vegas if we go. He wants to stay maybe the weekend cause one of his baby friends is turning 21 and he wanted us to go with him. I wish we could fly instead of drive. We'll see. But I need another vacation badly! After next thursday its all over! I'm gonna sleep all day and wake up late every morning. I deserve it. I'm already tired of waking up so early, I look like a zombie.

Speaking of looking like shit, my face started breaking out really bad. I decided to go and buy Proactiv after Vanessa said it works really good. Well I've used it twice since buying it and I like it already. My skin doesn't look as oily or dry. I've gotta stop picking at my face though, everytime a new one pops up I start picking at it. So if any of you are thinking of trying it I'll be your test dummy and you can ask me later how its working cause its expensive.

Anyway, c you later